I Moved to New City to Be Closer to Childhood Friends; Life Improved

Three years ago, I flopped down on my couch, exhausted from a weekend of pottery classes, art exhibitions, and Bumble BFF meet-ups — all activities I undertook to “put myself out there” and create new friendships while living in Burlington, Vermont.

The only thing I created, however, was a growing sense of frustration. After a stint in Brooklyn, I’d chosen to relocate to Burlington. As a quirky, bustling city with access to tons of outdoor activities, it sounded like the perfect fit.

The only problem? Over a year into the move, I was still feeling alone.

I allowed myself a moment of self-pity and then texted Jaid, my childhood best friend, about my struggles making new connections as an adult. As it turned out, she was experiencing her own version of the same phenomenon in her new town of Saratoga Springs, New York.

We mused about how much better it would be if we lived in the same place, reminiscing about our childhood days when we could walk across the street, knock on the door, and ask the other to go play.

That night, I kept coming back to that conversation. What, exactly, was keeping me here?

As a single woman and full-time freelancer, there was no reason I had to stay put. The only thing keeping me stuck in place was me.

I started hunting for apartments in Saratoga that night.

I gave myself permission to restructure my life based on what I value

I’d visited Saratoga Springs before — I grew up about three and a half hours away — but never quite imagined moving there.

Once I made the leap in February 2023, the most common question I heard was, “What brought you to town?” For months, I stumbled over my answer.

I knew that it wasn’t common to follow your friends to a city — US Census data from the year I moved shows most Americans move to pursue better housing, or to be closer to family or a job.

Only about 15% were moving for “other” reasons, which the census listed as health, college, natural disasters, change of climate, or a romantic relationship. Nowhere in the data was there any mention of friends.

As I settled into life in Saratoga, though, I became more confident. I realized how hard I’d been working to build a community in Vermont, and here, I could finally exhale.

Related stories

Almost immediately after I moved, I found myself flourishing.

I never felt at home in Burlington, but now, I could go on walks in the Saratoga State Park with Jaid whenever I wanted.

We planned weekly brunches and reconnected with our friend Marcus, who also moved to Saratoga from our hometown shortly after we did.

Having my childhood friends around helped me confidently get involved in the local community

Living near my childhood friends didn’t mean that I stopped making efforts to meet new people.

Rather, the opposite happened — I quickly realized that having a built-in community only made it easier to create the kind of social scene I was missing in Burlington.

Because I wasn’t lonely anymore, I could feel myself becoming more extroverted. I moved through the Saratoga community without putting any pressure on myself to make connections happen organically.

I joined a yoga class as a student and loved it so much that I eventually became a trained teacher. Through the Saratoga yoga community, I made new friendships that I cherish just as much as my lifelong ones.

Over two years later, I know that I made the best decision for my social life and mental health

Since moving, I’ve told anyone who would listen — especially friends and family dealing with similar feelings of isolation — that they should move to Saratoga, too.

To my delight, both my cousin and my high-school best friend did.

Living here has helped me develop a renewed sense of gratitude for my lifelong friendships. I know what it’s like to feel lonely, and the good fortune of having my loved ones just minutes away was not lost on me.

Now, when new acquaintances ask what brought me to town, I can answer confidently: my childhood friends.