I Began a New Career, and It’s Shifting How I Parent My Kids

I started to crumble when I was forced to change careers after 14 years of service in local government. I had worked and planned for a life of public service, but then life happened, and suddenly, I was in a new career field and way out of my depths.

The sudden change in careers forced me to take a hard look at how I had been living for the last 14 years. While I was reflecting and mourning my old professional life, I started to notice some other areas in my life that I wanted to change — mainly, my parenting.

Now that I’m in a new career and living outside my comfort zone, I’m pushing my kids to do the same so that we all grow together.

I’ve started a new job after years in the same career

After a decade in the same, stagnant public service position, my ambition got activated. Suddenly, I was applying for promotions, volunteering for projects, attending leadership seminars, and making myself into the traditional idea of a government professional.

I was given an opportunity to further those ambitions in a new role in a different city. But when that opportunity didn’t work out, my 14-year career path came to an end.

I spent weeks analyzing where I went wrong. Were those ambitions ever really dreams of mine, or were they pursued because my peers and co-workers were pursuing the same paths? Was I ever good enough to do this work in the first place? Was this career ever really what I wanted?

That’s when I decided to switch careers from public service to research and development. The change has felt like learning to pilot a commercial airline while having the professional credentials of a circus entertainer. But the challenge has been surprisingly invigorating.

It’s making me consider how stagnant my professional life has become. Routines have been in place for years, and maybe the comfort of that familiarity is starting to become a hindrance to further growth. That realization made me wonder about how stagnant I am becoming as a parent.

Related stories

I’m pushing my kids to get outside their comfort zone, too

Take community participation, for example. Despite being involved in Scouts and various church activities, my family had managed to be almost completely absent from most volunteer events and neighborhood activities. We had work (or school). We had extracurriculars, and the rest of the time was ours.

That had worked for us. But while I’m currently spending my work hours getting pushed further out of my comfort zone, I decided my family needed a similar shake-up if they were going to grow.

I should note here that both of my boys were already highly accomplished at school and their respective activities before my mid-life crisis arrived, so the decision to get them more involved in the community was equally based on addressing my own parenting weaknesses and a desire to provide them with new experiences and growth opportunities.

When summer arrives, I’m hoping to get the whole family involved in some kind of community service, like working in a soup kitchen or a community garden. We’ve been taking greater advantage of the opportunities presented through the Scouting organization, like weekend field trips and merit badge mini-camps.

I’ve already seen both boys grow as people through those experiences. But only time will tell if these decisions were made as a responsible father or someone struggling with their own career and life anxieties.