“Gen Z Stare”? Millennials, Your Boomer Trauma Is Showing.

Just when I thought the millennial-Gen Z alliance had reached a zenith, the “Gen Z stare” debate was born.

The “Gen Z stare” is supposedly the blank look Gen Zers give when they’re asked a question or faced with a situation they don’t know how to respond to. Most of the debate hinges on Gen Zers working customer service roles, like hostessing at restaurants or taking orders at coffee shops.

I’m skeptical that the “Gen Z stare” is even real (though maybe I’m biased, since I am a Gen Zer), but let’s suppose that it is. There are plenty of possible explanations for this gap in manners that my cohort is supposedly showing. Moreover, it’s ironic that millennials are diagnosing their Gen Z counterparts in much the same way boomers diagnosed and pathologized them.

Millennials, are you sure you’re not just becoming your parents?

It’s not me — it’s society!

We’ve been called the loneliest generation, the anxious generation, and the most rejected generation. Our workplace habits have been picked apart by boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials we work with, whether it’s the clothes we wear, the things we talk about, or even the words we use.

So maybe the “Gen Z stare” is just a problem of your own making, dear elder coworkers. If we know you’re going to pick apart our response anyway, why wouldn’t we pause to make sure we’re saying the right thing?

We’re also a generation that’s used to being surveilled, thanks to social media. If it’s true that the “Gen Z stare” is a product of our chronic online-ness, we should ask in response: Who set that system up? Who put the phones in our hands and made it so hard to turn away, such that we’re struggling to form human connections? I’m not talking about our parents, but about the older tech founders whose contributions have bred those unpleasant side effects — founders like Mark Zuckerberg, a millennial.

Related stories

Besides, there are other reasons beyond our control for why we’re underequipped with soft skills. Those of us who were in college during the pandemic worked through remote classes, internships, and other virtual gigs. Our first in-person roles were the jobs we landed right after graduation; we didn’t have the opportunity to build up professional etiquette before that. God forbid we’re a little shy.

Gen Zers are also facing high unemployment and underemployment, which means we’re working jobs that don’t require our degrees. Even computer science grads, who were told that their area of study was a surefire path to financial stability during their teen and early adult years, are struggling to get jobs as the tech career ladder folds up. Can you blame your 22-year-old barista for not being thrilled about working a café job right out of college?

Let’s unite the youth

I don’t want to therapy-speak too much — as I know my cohort is wont to do — but perhaps this is an instance of millennials inflicting their own boomer-bred trauma upon the generation below them. It wasn’t so long ago that your own boomer coworkers complained about your supposed softness, entitlement, and avocado toast spending habits.

Poking a little fun across generations and hand-wringing about the youth is nothing new. But hey, punching down isn’t the answer. As it happens, younger people — and that includes you, millennials — can do pretty impressive things when we’re united. As a bloc, we have the power to create recession-resistant market sectors and challenge workplace norms. We’re pretty aligned on wanting our workplaces to treat us like people instead of cogs.

There is some truth mixed into the “Gen Z stare” debate about my generation’s lack of social wares, but that didn’t happen in a vacuum. Boomers couldn’t comprehend the harder hand you’d been dealt when you were our age, either. Gen Z deserves a little slack here.

Don’t get me started on Gen Alpha, though.