A Couple Shares Pros and Cons of Living in ADU in Parents’ Backyard

With their low cost and small footprint, tiny homes and accessory dwelling units have become popular alternatives to traditional homes and apartments — especially for first-time buyers and downsizers.

For Aislyn and Ali Benjamin, an ADU, a small secondary home on an existing lot, was the most practical way into homeownership.

They live near Danville, California — a small city just over an hour east of San Francisco — where the median home sale price was $1.8 million in August, according to Realtor.com. Wanting to stay near their jobs and avoid long-term renting, they built a 1,200-square-foot unit in the backyard of Ali’s parents’ home in San Ramon, a city next to Danville.

With family help, the ADU, built by Bay-area-based Villa, cost $500,000 — far below what they would have paid for a typical home in Danville.

“This was the best decision we ever made,” Ali Benjamin, 35, told Business Insider. “It allowed us to save so much money and live where we wanted.”

The Benjamins have lived in the ADU since 2023. Overall, it’s been a great experience, though there are a few downsides, Ali said.

Here are five pros and cons of living in an ADU in their parents’ backyard, according to the couple.

They’re spending less on bills

The Benjamins went from paying $3,086 a month for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment to paying $2,900 a month — including utilities — for an entire home. The payment goes toward a 15-year mortgage on the property.

Ali’s parents have rooftop solar, so the couple’s power costs are lower, too — and they split the bill with his parents. Living in their backyard also means they don’t worry about homeowners’ association fees.

“We love that,” Ali said. “The bills in general are lower; we’re using less electricity.”

The money they’re saving on housing is going toward investments and their businesses. Ali owns Benjamin’s Boxing & Fit, and Aislyn is the co-owner of Nor*Cal Elite San Ramon, a cheerleading, stunt, and tumbling gym.

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“Our businesses are our passion,” Aislyn, 30, told Business Insider. “Being able to save money and put it toward something that we love is a huge benefit.”

They help each other out

Some people may balk at living with parents or in-laws, but the Benjamins say it’s a win-win.

“There’s definitely a lot of benefits to living next door,” Aislyn said. “We’re always there to help each other out, which is really nice. If we need something like cream for coffee, we don’t have to actually get in the car and drive somewhere.”

Living in Ali’s parents’ backyard also means having a built-in dog sitter, and, eventually, a babysitter.

The couple plans to live in the ADU until they have children; then they’ll swap. They’ll move into Ali’s parents’ 2,242-square-foot home while his parents move into the ADU.

“Child care is expensive too, so having grandparents literally 10 steps away is going to be very convenient,” Aislyn said.

They don’t have complete authority over the property

With Ali’s parents owning the 0.34-acre lot they all share, the couple has to run major decisions by them.

“Certain big decisions, let’s say if we wanted to add a pool or something, we would need to talk to my parents and see if they’re on board,” Ali said.

People assume they live in a ‘shack’

The couple often receives mixed reactions to their ADU living arrangement.

“I think the biggest misconception we got when I told people we were getting an ADU is that they imagined it as a tiny shack in someone’s backyard,” Ali said. “In reality, there are homes that are much smaller than our ADU.”

Their ADU has far more space than their old apartment. To fill it up, they’ve purchased new furniture, like a desk and barstools. They’ve also converted one of the home’s three bedrooms into a private sauna and gym.

“I would say we have more room to live comfortably in our house, and we even have a yard that our dog can run around in,” Aislyn said.

They have a lot of privacy

A big part of living comfortably with your parents is mutual respect, Ali said.

“My parents are very private, and they’re very respectful of our privacy,” he added. “They don’t come over unannounced. If you had an overbearing helicopter parent, I think that it would be an issue.”

The Benjamins have their own entrance and mailbox and can go days without seeing Ali’s parents. Their ADU also sits a good distance from the main house, adding another layer of privacy.

“We definitely have a lot more privacy because we don’t hear our neighbors to the side, above, or beneath us, which is really nice,” Aislyn said. “Those are my favorite things about having our ADU.”